Revolution

dis·par·i·ty  noun 1. The condition or fact of being unequal, as in age, rank, or degree; difference: 2. Unlikeness; incongruity

It usually starts small.

A twinge of frustration that comes up out of the blue.  A fleeting moment of sadness for no discernable reason.  A vague feeling of regret that’s almost always there, lurking, somewhere in the back of your mind.  Sometimes you feel a little off and you don’t quite know why.  Something’s just not right, but you don’t quite know what it is.

You might get lucky one day and be confronted with what’s bothering you (though that event might not feel terribly lucky at the time).  That nagging little voice suddenly is suddenly right in your face and you are seeing, in living color and full relief, just what’s been nagging at you.  Whatever the case, you realize that your life is not in harmony with what it should be, could be or with who you are.  You have a disparity. Your life is not congruent with what it could be.

Those uncomfortable feelings (and rest assured… they will grow over time) are a strong sign that it’s time to change.  They are definitive signals that it’s time to get out of your comfort zone and onto the next level.  

in·er·tia: (noun)  1. Physics The tendency of a body to resist acceleration; the tendency of a body at rest to remain at rest or of a body in straight line motion to stay in motion in a straight line unless acted on by an outside force.  2. Resistance or disinclination to motion, action, or change.

There’s a problem, though.  You’ve been in that comfort zone of yours for so long you’re finding it almost impossible to get off the launch pad.  You feel overwhelmed.  You don’t know what to do or where start.  You’re finding it almost impossible to move your tachometer off zero.  

Inertia is at hand.  And inertia is a bitch.  It’s like cement overshoes in a mafia movie.  It weighs you down until you feel like you can’t move forward or even stand.  Even worse, inertia sneaks up on you, as if you’re the proverbial lobster in a stockpot of boiling water. You don’t realize what’s happening until it’s almost too late (note the almost).  One day you wake up and find your precious comfort zone has shrunk to the point that it’s as constricting as a straight jacket.

That’s the bad news.  I have some good news for you, though.  Since inertia is largely a state of mind, it is controllable and changeable.  Make no mistake, rising above it won’t be easy.  It may take everything you’ve got and then some.  This is also good news, because you’ll finally get to find out just what you’re made of… and if you truly give this your all, you’ll quickly learn that you’ve been selling yourself short, probably for a good long time.
It’s time for a revolution.  It’s time for your revolution.

rev•o•lu•tion (noun) 1. a complete and forcible overthrow and replacement of an established government or political system by the people governed.  2. a sudden, complete, or radical change in something.

No, I’m not talking about setting up a bloody coup d'etat to overthrow a government.  What I do mean is a radical change in your own established order.  Whatever you’re doing now is not working, so it stands to reason that you need to run your life in a radically different way.

The first thing you’ll need to do is get in touch with your motivation, both good and bad.  We all understand so-called ”good motivation.  I’m all about encouragement and positivity, both of which have a place here (we’ll get to that a little later).  Right now, though, it’s time to channel your inner bad ass and call in the psychological shock troops. Make your negative emotions work for you rather than against you.

What do I mean?  Delve into your regret, both in what’s already passed you by and what will if you don’t get off your ass.  Get mad. Get furious.  And use it all.

• Think about the promotion you didn’t get because you failed to give your all at work.
• Think about the relationship that died because you were afraid of getting hurt.
• Think about the dream you keep putting on hold because your fear of failure continues to hold you back.
• Think about how you’ll feel a year from now if you don’t step up and give it your all.
• Etc.
• Etc.
• Etc.

Getting a little agitated right about now?  Maybe a little pissed off? Good. Let’s keep going.

Now think about those people who pushed you around and put you down.  Are you going to let them:

• Keep doing whatever it is they’re doing to you?
• Are you still going to feel bad about it, thereby continuing to let them run your life?

Let’s consider what you’ve had enough of in your life.  Think about what you’re sick of:

• Being poor.
• Being out of shape.
• Wasting time on things and people that don’t matter.
• Saying you’re going to do things and never doing them.
• Wasting your potential and living a life that’s ten steps or more below what you deserve.
• Missing out on opportunities.
• How your comfort zone has gotten smaller and smaller over the years.
• How your standards have slowly slipped.

Now let’s shift into a more positive mode.  

• Who are you?  Are you the kind of person that just gives up and lives a mediocre life?  I think you know the answer to that.
• What do you want? What do really, really want, so bad you can taste it?
• When do you want it?  I mean specifically.  Spoiler alert: someday is not an acceptable answer.
• Where are you now? Do a brutally honest assessment of your current situation, in all spheres of your life.
• Why do you want it?  What truly drives you, what motivates you from deep inside your core?
• How are you going to get there?

Take your what, your when and your how and start making a detailed plan.  Then you need to aggressively execute that plan.  No, I’m not talking about some vague blob of words like “I want to rich” or “I want to lose weight” or “I want to be happy”.  Definitive goals, clearly stated:

• I will lose 20 pounds by a certain date.
• I will save up $xxx by xxx date.
• I will publish xxxx by xxxx date.

Take each goal.  Break it down into teeny little bite-sized pieces.  Knock it down a hunk at a time on a consistent basis.  Yes, I know we’ve all heard this before, but apparently there are those among us that need a reminder.  

re·spon·si·bil·i·ty (noun) 1. the state or position of being responsible 2. a person or thing for which one is responsible 3. the ability or authority to act or decide on one's own, without supervision

I’m going to ask you to do something hard now.  I’m going to ask you to take responsibility.

Sure, it’s not your fault that your significant other left you high and dry, emptying out your bank account in the process.  It’s not your fault that your parents constantly put you down and made mincemeat out of your self-esteem before you even hit puberty.  It’s not your fault… but it’s still your responsibility to overcome whatever it was and move past it.  Even if you played no sort of role in whatever happened, you still have the responsibility to:

1. Choose your reaction.
2. Deal with it. Deal with your emotions and deal with the situation.
3. Or better yet, use it to make you a better, stronger person. Turn that bitterness into some anger that you can use to fuel your own personal revolution.  Turn that anger into the positive forward motion that will enable you overcome that inertia

In the end, it’s past time to go all out and get the life you know you deserve… as it’s so often said, if not now, then when?  If things are rough, if you’ve been knocked down one too many times… it’s time to take back your life.  Start your revolution today.

Train

I’m awash in metaphor these days.

One that I’m fond of (especially given the recent torrents of rain in my area) is being in the eye of the storm.  Per Wikipedia, it’s “a region of mostly calm weather found at the center of strong tropical cyclones”.  One can live fairly peacefully in the metaphorical eye of storm, but at the same time it’s very limiting… this is your comfort zone, that mystical place where not much happens, good or bad.  In order to get out of the storm, you’ll have to walk through the storm itself, battered by wind and rain, and… well, you catch my drift.  Getting through that storm may be rough going at first, but it will be well worth it when you emerge on the other side and feel the warm sun beating down on your face, and the typhoon winds are replaced by a cool, light breeze.

I caught another metaphor during a TV show called “Arrow”.  

One character talked about how people who go through a crucible, a severe test of strength and will.  Some make it through just fine (and, in fact, come out stronger and better for the experience).  Others fall, and let the crucible break them.  There’s another group of people, the character said, those who like the fire and prefer to remain in the challenges.  I thought about it, and realized I know people in all three classes. A cautionary note to those who choose to remain in the fire: be careful you don’t get burned.

One metaphor that really resonates with me of late is that of a locomotive beginning its journey.  I recently read a book called The Compound Effect, an above average example of of the success/ achievement genre.  There is a chapter about midway through the book all about momentum.  The author, Darren Hardy, points out that a train is very slow to begins its journey.  Even the powerful engine of a locomotive, pulling a chain of cargo cars, struggles to move forward at first… an inch at a time.  Then a foot at a time.  Eventually it will reach enough velocity that will crush almost anything in its way (I have seen the end result of a train/ automobile collision with my own eyes, so I can attest to that).

But what if that train gave up in the midst of trying to gain velocity?  

“Ugh… this is too hard,” says the train. “Forget it.  I’ll never get going.”
You and I might stand on the sidelines, urging the train on.
“Don’t give up,” we say. “Keep going.”  We remind the train that they’ll move an inch at a time at first, then a foot at a time, and will go faster and faster, until it becomes that powerful force that can tear through virtually anything in its path.

Recently, someone I know flat out gave up at what I felt was the cusp of a very big breakthrough for them professionally.  I hope, as time moves forward, he’ll not regret it too much… and I hope, at the next such opportunity, he’ll stick with it and not give up.

I know it’s difficult to get that momentum going.  It’s a daunting task to keep pulling with all your might, especially when you can only move an inch at a time at first.  Keep the faith, though, and keep going.  Remember that inch you just moved?  That alone is worth something, even if it doesn’t seem like much at the time.  Before long you will have moved a foot and before you know it, you’ll be an unstoppable force… but none of that will happen if you give up right out of the gate.

Believe me, I know.  I’ve given up plenty of times, but I have no plans to do so again. So yes, I actually propose that you and I become “the little engine that could”.

Are there any other metaphors that resonate with you?  How do they inform your life?  Let me know in the comments below or on Facebook.

I Have No Voice And I Must Write

I’m a writer.

My passion is to write top-notch fiction and nonfiction and inspire others through that.  I have no doubt that I’ll make my mark as a writer… yes, I’ve made some good progress in that regard, but I still have a long way to go.  I’ve worked out a very detailed five-year plan, with interim goals all along the way.  Many of those goals involve publication… given that I am self-published, it’s all up to me.  I’m not dependent on the vagaries and whims of Random House or Simon and Schuster.  Simply, I write the book, edit, format, create the cover and upload to Amazon.  Simple as that.  Yes, I do have plans to do both print and audio books in the not too distant future, but that is neither here or now.

I really dig the idea of controlling my own destiny, but there are pitfalls… one of them is the ongoing challenge of marketing.  Fortunately, my full-time job is in the wonderful world of digital marketing, so I have something of an advantage there.

The other hazard is that my future as a writer is, obviously, dependent on the quantity and quality of my output.  I have confidence in the quality of my work, but I struggle with quantity at times, especially recently.

Yes, it’s true.  I lost my voice.  I had the dreaded writer’s block, the enemy of authorial aspirations, the killer of literary dreams throughout history. Not being one to curl up into a ball and give up, I decided enough was enough.  Time to fight this thing.

One of my favorite writers is the acerbic genius Harlan Ellison.  He is probably best known as the writer of most people’s favorite classic Star Trek episode, “City On the Edge of Forever”.  You know, the one where McCoy goes back in time and… well, if you haven’t seen it, I don’t want to spoil it for you.  But it’s awesome (I also highly recommend his story “Jeffty is Five”)..

Anyway, Ellison is an incredibly prolific author.  His output over the years rivals that of many small publishing houses.  He published a story in 1967 entitled “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream”.  The title resonated with me somewhat in my writer’s block addled state.  Somewhat.  I fiddled with the wording a bit and came up with the title of this little missive… “I Have No Voice and I Must Write”.  Perfect.  
I really felt as if I had lost my writing voice.  Where words once tumbled out of me faster than I could commit them to paper, I had gotten to the point where I could hardly scratch out a decent paragraph.

Ugh.

I suppose there were a variety of reasons this happened, all of them conspiring to bring my literary output to a crashing halt.  Ultimately, none of them mattered.  In the end, I chose to let them crush my momentum.  Now it was up to me to get back up to speed.

I’ll be honest, I spun my wheels for a little while.  There was a start and stop project or two (I promise to get back to you, love story with a twist ending), the odd blog post here and there, but still, I struggled.
So I had an epiphany one night.  Actually, a few epiphanies (if you’re guessing I didn’t sleep well that night, you would be correct).  I came up with a plan and did a little attitude adjustment for good measure.

THE PLAN

PROJECT: Just Write Something, You Pansy!!

I vowed to not let a day pass that I didn’t write something.  Anything.  It’s actually pretty easy when you think about it.  Here’s how it goes:

You write (or in my case, type) just one word.  Like this:

The

See how easy that is?  Now go for two words:

quick brown

Got it?  Now for the main event… finish that sentence:

fox jumped over the lazy dog.

Look at you… you just wrote an entire sentence, you stud (or studette, as the case may be).  Nobody said it had to be original or even good.  It just had to be words.  More to the point, you just chose to write, rather than be in the thrall of the word-sucking demon known as writer’s block.  Go you!  Take a moment and pat yourself on the back.  You’ve earned it.

Keep doing that, every single day, and you’ll soon be well on your way to actually writing all the time.

Now that you’ve pretty much made writer’s block your bitch, it’s time for the good stuff.  Let’s alter your attitude a bit.

THE ATTITUDE, PART I

PROJECT: Dammit, Jim, I’m a Writer, Not  An Editor.

My problem was that I kept judging each and every sentence, word, punctuation mark and letter I wrote, as I wrote them.  Yes, one wants to put out quality work, but one has to actually have output to judge, right?  There is a time for that… it’s called the revision stage.  I put the editor part of my brain on hold and just spilled out as many words as I could.  Upon going back to edit later, I was met with a pleasant surprise: I did a pretty good job.  Granted, I had to do some tweaking here and there, but I was overall pretty pleased with myself.
So guess what?  Being human, I’m not perfect, nor is my writing.  And that’s okay.  Part of my full-time job is to be an editor, so I have that covered pretty well.

THE ATTITUDE, PART II

PROJECT: Why?

I write for a lot of reasons,  I won’t bore you people with the full list as it is lengthy, but I had to remind myself of my litany of whys.  I write to have a brighter future.  I write to inspire others.  I write for therapy (yes, writing can be most therapeutic).  Etc. Etc.

This past weekend, someone I’ve known all my life shared that he felt “worthless”.  That cut me right to the core.  Part of the reason I write is, as above, to inspire others.  If I can keep one person from feeling that way, I have succeeded.  

I know I don’t have all the answers when it comes to beating writer’s block.  This is just what has worked for me.  The point is that I proved I can beat it and I can beat it again if necessary.

And guess what?  So can you.

Slumps, Ruts and Cycles

Sometimes the universe gives you a nudge.  Sometimes the universe grabs you by the shoulders, shakes you and says “Pay attention to me!!  I’m trying to make a point here!!”.

I recently was pulled into a conversation with someone about how a mutual friend has fallen into something of a slump.  This sort of thing has happened with before with this person and they seem to break out of it within a few weeks. I was relieved, because I have seen many times where what is originally more of a cyclical slump becomes longer term if not permanent.

I see cycles all around.  The economy is a good example, of course.  I personally tend to cycle up and down with regards to my creativity.  The effects of cycles, both up and down, are particularly apparent and pronounced when it comes to those in the sales profession.  A salesperson can be going great guns one month (the feast), and barely getting by the next (that would be the famine).

There’s always a danger of letting a cyclical slump gain a foothold and become long-term or even permanent.  I’ve seen it happen and I’m not afraid to say I’ve let it happen myself.  Something’s off... your sales are down, creative output is diminished, that job opportunity evaporates... and your attitude might suffer (even temporarily), thus affecting other spheres of life.  You then have an effect of one domino knocking over another, until a new set of problems arise.  While you might be able to rise out of that down cycle/ slump/ rut/ call it what you will there is often collateral damage along the way.  Many don’t understand that isn’t a permanent situation and will back away.  Sad but true.  That happened to me not so long ago, but I have bounced back in a spectacular fashion.   

Be consistent with the important things

When you fall into a slump it’s easy to let things slide.  You feel a little down and it’s harder than normal to give your best effort.  That’s exactly the worst thing to do.  You have to, at minimum, put forth at least your normal effort... otherwise things can really begin a rapid downhill slide.  Your best bet is to put forth even more than your normal effort.  That may be what’s required to break that slump and to keep that slump from turning into something longer-term (what is often referred to as a rut).

Change your routine with the little things

Sometimes what you need is a break or change in your routine.  Doing so can help get your head into a slightly different place and perhaps cause you to view yourself and your situation from a slightly different angle. I’m not talking about major changes here...

• Take a different route to (or from) work.
• Listen to a band you’ve never heard before.
• Shop at a different grocery store.
• Go somewhere different for lunch.
• Check out a random book from the library and give it a read.
• Etc.

You get the idea.  The point is to get you out of your stressed out/ bummed out headpsace and thinking differently.  Every little bit helps.

Watch out for the domino effect

So that great job prospect evaporated.  That sale your were counting on didn’t come to pass. Such is life.  It becomes very easy to let other things slide.  You quit that exercise program.  You start drinking again.  Others may want to spend less time with you, since you seem so down.  Etc. Etc.  

Draw a line in the sand.  Don’t let what’s happening seep into other spheres of your life.

Check your attitude and control your emotions

It’s easy to get sucked down into a whirlpool of negative emotions when a slump starts to take hold.  You may get angry at yourself or others.  You could get more and more depressed.  As above, draw a line and take control.  Be conscious of your emotions and how they are affecting you.

Get support

Just as there are people who will back away and even abandon you when you hit a down cycle, there are those who will stand by your side no matter what happens.  While you can’t expect someone else to solve your problems for you, there’s a lot to be said for just talking it out.  You might find that others have been there too and have come out of it.  You’ll soon realize that you will too... if one person can rise up, you can as well.

Exercise

One of the best things you can do for yourself when you hit a slump is to workout.  This is true for a couple reasons.  For one thing, working out (especially when you don’t feel like it) shows mastery of yourself and this sends a definitive signal to the rest of your psyche that you are in charge.  You are in control.  You are empowered.  That is exactly what you need.

Exercise also releases endorphins, often referred to as “nature’s happy drug”.  The onset of a slump often results in at least a low-level depression and a dose of endorphins will help stave that off.  I’ve come to realize that there is a strong mind-body connection, one that goes both ways.  A few good workouts can help break a negative emotional cycle (best of all, you might find that you actually like it).  

Understand that I’m not necessarily suggesting you take up CrossFit or tackle P90X (though if you’re so inclined, more power to you).  A walk around the block can work wonders.  Perhaps some yoga as well.  You might even want to try this...

http://www.7-min.com/

Momentum: hold on to it for dear life

You made that sale. You got the job.  You finally finished a short story you’ve been working on.  Whatever the case, you know have a strong foothold in getting out of that hole.  Take full advantage of that momentum and energy.  Vault right out of that hole you’ve created for yourself and back where you know you should be.

When an airplane takes off the pilot has to go full throttle.  Once the plane is at a cruising altitude, the pilot can ease back on the throttle and cruise.  Conquering that slump is a lot like that.  It will take a lot of energy, effort and courage at first, but you will reach your own cruising altitude soon enough.
I’ve done it and I’ve seen others do it too.  Now it’s your turn.

Here’s some links with more helpful ideas...

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-out-of-a-Rut

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Out-of-a-Slump

http://www.wikihow.com/Exude,-Escape,-or-Enact-an-Existential-Crisis