Values

I have written values. They are as follows:

• Kids first
• Self-mastery
• Intelligence
• Harmony
• Integrity
• Ikigai

Values are a prism through which one can view life, set goals, and make decisions. Values can help you get and keep your life on track. In short, having set, written values will allow you to more easily navigate through life. I can’t say that I exemplify everything on my list… in reality, some of them (especially under the “self-mastery” category) are there because I am trying very hard to integrate them more fully into my life.

Kids first: I’ll not dive too deeply into this one, as it is self-explanatory. Simply, I make my kids my unquestioned first priority and motivation for most everything I do. Really, nothing more needs to be said.

Self mastery is a constellation of several things… self-discipline, grit, kaizen, positivity, growth mindset, and stoicism.

Self-discipline: My personal discipline is an ongoing struggle, especially when it comes to being consistent over an extended period of time (I suppose that’s true for all of us, though) (so maybe I shouldn’t be so damn hard on myself when I stumble, huh?) (anyway…)

Discipline applies to so many things; not just getting to the gym, eating right, or showing up to work on time. Ultimately, it boils down to doing what you should do, when you should do it… whether you feel like it or not.

• It’s about standards.
• It’s about execution.
• It’s about being consistent.
• It’s about self-control.
• It’s about goals, little and big.
• It’s the difference between mediocrity and excellence, between success and failure.

Grit is the ability to keep going over time, even when things get rough, even as one’s initial motivation wears off and the shine dampens on that goal.

Growth mindset is the difference between “I can do better” and “I am the way I am”. A person with a growth mindset sees their self as capable of evolution. Someone with a fixed mindset feels that if they meet a challenge that they can’t overcome initially, that’s it. Game over. The growth mindset person comes face-to-face with failure and considers how they might change to meet and overcome that challenge. This is something that I am working on quite a bit of late. Having read Carol Dweck’s book about this subject, I can see where having a growth mindset would be the foundation for a lot of personal development.

Kaizen is closely allied with the growth mindset. It is a Japanese word that roughly translates as “constant and never-ending improvement”. To me, it means ‘better every day”. My goal is to do something each and every day that will improve me and/ or my life in some fashion. That can mean many different things.

• One more rep or a little more distance in a workout (or maybe trying out a new yoga pose!).
• Polishing a scene from my new novel.
• Work on getting better organized.

I could go on and on (and on and on and on) with this. I will spare you the details. Ultimately, the phrase “better every day” is what matters here.

By positivity, I don’t mean a pollyanish/ rose-colored glasses outlook 24/ 7/ 365. To me, it’s more about making sure that I don’t default to the negative, admittedly a hard task at times.

Stoicism is something I have only recently begun studying. Ultimately, it’s less about being like Mr. Spock and more about choosing one’s reaction to the ebb and flow of life. In short: “Men are disturbed not by things, but the views which they take of them” (Epictetus, Enchiridion).

I have long been a practitioner of cognitive behavioral therapy. The main thrust of CBT is identifying and challenging negative, unproductive thoughts… thoughts that can lead one down the path to anxiety and depression. Stoicism exemplifies that.

NOTE: I plan to cover CBT in more depth in another post.

Intelligence: I value intelligence in myself and others. It’s important to devote time and energy to learning and enhancing one’s cognitive skills… everyday (see Kaizen, above). Granted, there are those that seem to have a greater degree of natural intelligence than others. Good for them, but I am more concerned with, as above, valuing intelligence along with prioritizing intellectual growth and development. So do a little something on a daily basis to expand your mind:

• Learn a new word (and use it).
• Make it a point to learn something new everyday.
• Watch a documentary.
• Take an online course about something of interest to you.
• Conquer a challenging brain teaser or some other puzzle.
• Listen to some music that you might not normally listen to.
• Read non-fiction when you usually read fiction.
• Read poetry when you usually read prose.
• Just read. A lot.

Being “dumb” is not funny. It’s not cool. We were all born with a certain amount of native intelligence, and I believe that we all have a certain amount of responsibility to ourselves and those around us to work diligently at developing it.

Integrity is two-fold. One, it’s all about treating others as I would want to be treated (to act in any other way is, in my view, a bit hypocritical). Two, it’s simply about being honest and doing right by yourself and others. Fortunately, the two typically go together.

I don’t like it when people are rude to me or those I care about, so I won’t treat others that way. I don’t like it when people try to take what’s mine, thus I won’t do that to anyone else.

Ultimately, it’s very simple: fair is fair.

Harmony: I’m not one to argue just for the sake of arguing. I believe that life is much easier when people at least try to get along. Yes, I will stand up myself and my beliefs when necessary, but I carefully pick my battles. Striving for harmony has become more important as our nation (and world) becomes more divided. So many people are consumed with labels and being right all the time. They insult others merely because someone dares disagree with them.

We need more people who at least attempt to get along with others. Ultimately, we are stronger when we band together.

Ikigai is a Japanese concept that translates to “reason for being”. Having an ikigai to consider can have a powerful, galvanizing effect on your life. My children certainly give me a reason for being, but I also strive to encourage and inspire those who struggle in life, as I have.

As I stated above, your values can act as framework for decision-making as well as a guide to how you conduct yourself. Take for example, the current state of political discourse. I see people become unhinged and hurl insults at one another, all as a result of differing opinions. Some post memes and links with no attempt to verify any “facts” therein... information that defies credulity. There are those who try to appear authoritative, yet exhibit sub third grade English skills. Being mindful of some of the value above could help in any of these instances:

• Before calling that person on the other side of the ideological aisle an “idiot”, or throwing out the insult du jour, why don’t you stop and think? Does insulting this person advance your cause or boost your argument? Name calling helps no one while deepening the divides between people.
• Prior to posting that meme about the other side’s candidate, take just a moment to do a little research. A quick Google search will generally give you a sense of whether your post is factual or not. A minimal investment of time and effort will help prevent the spread of untruths.
• I have seen comments on political posts that are so poorly written as to be incoherent. Take a second to capitalize, punctuate, and put that spell check to use.

Take a moment. Take a deep breath. Think. Acting completely on the emotion of the moment helps no one and serves nothing. Exert just a bit of self discipline and rise above the this mire. Use your intelligence to make certain that your comment is, at least, legible. Consider whether jumping into that argument is worth disturbing your harmony. I could go on, but I don’t wish to belabor the point.

There are times that one’s values can conflict with one another.

Navigate using your values as a road map, and your life will certainly be richer and more peaceful.

Seven Ways to Overcome Sales Call Reluctance

Call reluctance is, without a doubt, the number one killer of sales careers (and sometimes companies) in the world. I’ve seen it happen more times than I can count… as a headhunter, while selling advertising, and in my current role in sales quality control (and I have to admit I’ve been there myself). I’ve seen otherwise talented salespeople let go or quit simply because they struggled to get on the phone. I’ve seen companies tank because their account executives didn’t get out in front of enough prospects.

I’ve seen the price that sales call reluctance exacts, and it’s not pretty. The good news is that I’ve also seen people overcome call reluctance time and time again (myself among them), so it’s possible to knock this wall down and move forward to the sales career you deserve.

One call at a time

Do you remember the quote “the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”? Let’s paraphrase that to read “the journey to a thousand sales begins with one call”. You can handle one call, right? It’s simple matter of doing the following:

1.       Pick up your phone handset (or headset).

2.       Dial a prospect’s number.

3.       Listen to the other end ring.

4.       Say “hello” when the other party rings.

5.       Have a conversation.

It doesn’t matter if you made a sale or even had a decent conversation. The point is that you did it, and that proves you can do it again.

Now that you’ve made that one call, it’s time to make (more than) a few more. Make it a game… track your efforts and try for a new personal best every day. Employ the “paperclip strategy” or something similar.

What are you afraid of?

Call reluctance often comes from a certain, specific fear. When you know your fear and really deal with it, you have a vastly better chance of overcoming it. Here are a couple of examples:

“I don’t know what to say”: This where you need to take the initiative to learn more about your company’s products and process. Study your company’s products. Research sales techniques and closes. Roleplay with your boss and fellow salespeople.

“I will get hung up on/ yelled at/ laughed at”: That’s right… you probably will. Realistically, calls like that are few and far between. Realistically, what’s the worst that can happen? It’s not as if someone is going to reach through the phone and punch you in the nose.

What’s your fear? How can you best overcome it?

What is your why?

We’re all different and we all have our own motivating factors. The classic sales motivator is money, but it’s at least as important to know what you actually want that money for.

Do you:

Want to provide for your family?

Get out of debt?

Go on an amazing, life-changing vacation?

Buy the home or car of your dreams?

It might not just be money, though. You may have something to prove to yourself or someone who doubted you. You might want to test yourself in the crucible of the hardcore sales world. Sometimes the chance to start over in a new career provides all the motivation you need.

One other why, one you may not have thought about: your company is depending on you. Sales is the frontline in the war of business. Salespeople bring in the revenue and new customers. Your company has chosen you to be a warrior in this fight. The future of your company and the continued employment of your colleagues might just depend on you picking up the phone.

What are you worth?

Everyone’s time has value. The good news is that you can choose how valuable your time is and treat it accordingly.  Let’s say that your goal is to earn $100,000 annually. That’s a great goal, by the way.

$100,000 in annual income translates to roughly $40.00 an hour. Keep track of how you actually spend your time throughout the day. Ask yourself “is what I’m doing right now worth $40.00 to me?”

Was it worth $40.00 to spend an hour of selling time on Facebook?

Was taking a half hour making lunch plans worth the $20.00 it cost you?

Was that fifteen minute conversation about last night’s reality show scandal worth $10.00 to you?

So stop with the time wasters.  Start acting like a $100,000 (or more) earner.

How can you help?

The company I work for provides digital marketing solutions to small and medium-sized businesses throughout the nation. Helping an up-and-coming construction company with their marketing strategy or even a new website can be extremely gratifying.

You might sell life insurance and find some satisfaction in helping families secure their financial future. Your company may market healthcare software, and each sale you make can help hundreds of people get faster and more efficient medical care.

Get confident and control your attitude

Call reluctance is often rooted in a lack of confidence. This confidence deficit is often new or merely temporary, (often caused by a lull in sales) so it’s important to attack it before it really takes root. It takes effort to get positive (and stay that way), but it’s well worth it!

Remember:

·         You were hired for a reason. Your company saw potential in you. It’s time to live up to that potential.

·         You have had successes in the past. You did it once (probably more than once) and that’s proof that you can do it again.

Make a list of your successes and best qualities… remind yourself that you still have what it takes.

Reading:

·         Find some sales or motivation books that you like. There’s plenty out there: Brian Tracy, Darren Hardy, Tom Hopkins, Jeffrey Gitomer, etc., etc. You’re certain to find a book that really speaks to you, moves you, and charges you up.

·         Search the internet for inspiration and sales information. This website is a great place to start!

Audio:

·         Just as there’s plenty of great stuff to read on the internet, there’s also a great amount of sales and motivational podcasts and audio programs to be had (again, you can find a wealth of material on this site alone).

·         Everybody has a favorite song or two that really gets them going. Find that song on YouTube and give it a listen at the start of the day. You can set up a playlist of your favorites in your mp3 player, or even seek them out on Pandora or Spotify.

Associations:

·         Get away from the naysayers and the negative types (as far as possible, as quickly as you can). Nothing will sap your motivation faster than being hammered by negativity on a daily basis.

·         Get away from the time-wasters. You may have someone in the cubicle next to you who wants to chat and goof around all day long. Don’t let them steal your time (and therefore money out of your pocket). See if you can move to another desk or office if necessary.

In the end:

Overcoming a serious bout of call reluctance will require that you access new reserves of determination, discipline, and drive… qualities that will help you in any endeavor, in any part of life. So go forth and SELL!

Monday

I’m so very tired of the “oh, woe is me, it’s Monday” attitude. Whining about Monday does nobody any good. It’s old hat and probably hasn’t been funny since Shakespeare said, “forsooth, thy Mondays sucketh”. Fine, he probably didn’t actually say that, but you catch my drift.

Let me bottom line it for you: if you approach your Mondays with a crappy attitude, very likely you’ll have a crappy day. This gives you a massive head start on a crappy week. And a crappy month. Etc. Secondly, the “I hate Mondays” attitude infects (and likely annoys) others and that’s not cool.

Try this on for size instead: realize that you have an opportunity to start fresh. A week is a pretty good platform from which to launch a new initiative or gain some momentum on changing up your life. Find some joy, a bit of fun, and maybe some challenge in whatever it is you do throughout the week. It may be nothing more than the chance to provide for you and yours, but that is noble as hell and deserves the very best in attitude and effort that you can put forth.

I get it. I look forward to my weekends too. I get to spend time with my kids (who I only see once during the workweek). I have the chance to relax and recharge. That time during the week, though: that’s when I focus on providing for them, and it makes me happy as hell to be able to do that. So focus on during your best with right now, rather than staring out the window and daydreaming about going out on your neighbor’s boat for a lazy Saturday.

Lastly: if your week is so consistently miserable that your only solace is your weekend oasis, you may want to rethink your life some. I don’t necessarily mean toss away your nine-to-five gig, though that may be a good idea for some. Do try to at least change your attitude.
Please and thank you.

Your Montage Moment

We all love the Rocky movies, right?

My favorite parts of those movies (and I imagine that many of you will agree with me) are the training montages. Rocky gives his all to prepare for his next fight. He does one-handed push ups, he runs up the museum steps and takes hardcore shots to the gut.

Here, by the way, is the Rocky training montage that my friends voted as their favorite:

Just kidding, That’s Turkish Rocky.  Here’s the actual winner:

So you can create your own montage moment.

First, Decide exactly which mountain you’ll climb, what it is in your life that deserves and/ or needs that extra push (for a few suggestions, see above).

Second, imagine exactly what you’ll do, that extra effort you’ll put forth. It’s easy in the case of any fitness initiative… just see yourself working out to your limit. In the case of a home improvement push, picture yourself painting, dejunking, whatever it is you need to do.

Third, pick some music. It certainly doesn’t have to be the very familiar Rocky training music… in fact, you should choose something else entirely (after all, this is your montage, not Rocky’s). Pick a song that pumps you up, that gets the juices flowing.

One suggestion is this muscular hunk of metal… between the lyrics and the music, you may no longer need coffee in the morning.

That’s just one suggestion. There are many more songs out there. What’s your favorite?

Basically what I’m suggesting here is a an advanced (and much more fun) form of visualization, one of the bedrock techniques of motivational speakers and self improvement gurus throughout the years.

The key is to take that emotion you created in picturing your montage… the enthusiasm, the excitement, the triumph… and bring it into the world and live your montage.

Revolution

dis·par·i·ty  noun 1. The condition or fact of being unequal, as in age, rank, or degree; difference: 2. Unlikeness; incongruity

It usually starts small.

A twinge of frustration that comes up out of the blue.  A fleeting moment of sadness for no discernable reason.  A vague feeling of regret that’s almost always there, lurking, somewhere in the back of your mind.  Sometimes you feel a little off and you don’t quite know why.  Something’s just not right, but you don’t quite know what it is.

You might get lucky one day and be confronted with what’s bothering you (though that event might not feel terribly lucky at the time).  That nagging little voice suddenly is suddenly right in your face and you are seeing, in living color and full relief, just what’s been nagging at you.  Whatever the case, you realize that your life is not in harmony with what it should be, could be or with who you are.  You have a disparity. Your life is not congruent with what it could be.

Those uncomfortable feelings (and rest assured… they will grow over time) are a strong sign that it’s time to change.  They are definitive signals that it’s time to get out of your comfort zone and onto the next level.  

in·er·tia: (noun)  1. Physics The tendency of a body to resist acceleration; the tendency of a body at rest to remain at rest or of a body in straight line motion to stay in motion in a straight line unless acted on by an outside force.  2. Resistance or disinclination to motion, action, or change.

There’s a problem, though.  You’ve been in that comfort zone of yours for so long you’re finding it almost impossible to get off the launch pad.  You feel overwhelmed.  You don’t know what to do or where start.  You’re finding it almost impossible to move your tachometer off zero.  

Inertia is at hand.  And inertia is a bitch.  It’s like cement overshoes in a mafia movie.  It weighs you down until you feel like you can’t move forward or even stand.  Even worse, inertia sneaks up on you, as if you’re the proverbial lobster in a stockpot of boiling water. You don’t realize what’s happening until it’s almost too late (note the almost).  One day you wake up and find your precious comfort zone has shrunk to the point that it’s as constricting as a straight jacket.

That’s the bad news.  I have some good news for you, though.  Since inertia is largely a state of mind, it is controllable and changeable.  Make no mistake, rising above it won’t be easy.  It may take everything you’ve got and then some.  This is also good news, because you’ll finally get to find out just what you’re made of… and if you truly give this your all, you’ll quickly learn that you’ve been selling yourself short, probably for a good long time.
It’s time for a revolution.  It’s time for your revolution.

rev•o•lu•tion (noun) 1. a complete and forcible overthrow and replacement of an established government or political system by the people governed.  2. a sudden, complete, or radical change in something.

No, I’m not talking about setting up a bloody coup d'etat to overthrow a government.  What I do mean is a radical change in your own established order.  Whatever you’re doing now is not working, so it stands to reason that you need to run your life in a radically different way.

The first thing you’ll need to do is get in touch with your motivation, both good and bad.  We all understand so-called ”good motivation.  I’m all about encouragement and positivity, both of which have a place here (we’ll get to that a little later).  Right now, though, it’s time to channel your inner bad ass and call in the psychological shock troops. Make your negative emotions work for you rather than against you.

What do I mean?  Delve into your regret, both in what’s already passed you by and what will if you don’t get off your ass.  Get mad. Get furious.  And use it all.

• Think about the promotion you didn’t get because you failed to give your all at work.
• Think about the relationship that died because you were afraid of getting hurt.
• Think about the dream you keep putting on hold because your fear of failure continues to hold you back.
• Think about how you’ll feel a year from now if you don’t step up and give it your all.
• Etc.
• Etc.
• Etc.

Getting a little agitated right about now?  Maybe a little pissed off? Good. Let’s keep going.

Now think about those people who pushed you around and put you down.  Are you going to let them:

• Keep doing whatever it is they’re doing to you?
• Are you still going to feel bad about it, thereby continuing to let them run your life?

Let’s consider what you’ve had enough of in your life.  Think about what you’re sick of:

• Being poor.
• Being out of shape.
• Wasting time on things and people that don’t matter.
• Saying you’re going to do things and never doing them.
• Wasting your potential and living a life that’s ten steps or more below what you deserve.
• Missing out on opportunities.
• How your comfort zone has gotten smaller and smaller over the years.
• How your standards have slowly slipped.

Now let’s shift into a more positive mode.  

• Who are you?  Are you the kind of person that just gives up and lives a mediocre life?  I think you know the answer to that.
• What do you want? What do really, really want, so bad you can taste it?
• When do you want it?  I mean specifically.  Spoiler alert: someday is not an acceptable answer.
• Where are you now? Do a brutally honest assessment of your current situation, in all spheres of your life.
• Why do you want it?  What truly drives you, what motivates you from deep inside your core?
• How are you going to get there?

Take your what, your when and your how and start making a detailed plan.  Then you need to aggressively execute that plan.  No, I’m not talking about some vague blob of words like “I want to rich” or “I want to lose weight” or “I want to be happy”.  Definitive goals, clearly stated:

• I will lose 20 pounds by a certain date.
• I will save up $xxx by xxx date.
• I will publish xxxx by xxxx date.

Take each goal.  Break it down into teeny little bite-sized pieces.  Knock it down a hunk at a time on a consistent basis.  Yes, I know we’ve all heard this before, but apparently there are those among us that need a reminder.  

re·spon·si·bil·i·ty (noun) 1. the state or position of being responsible 2. a person or thing for which one is responsible 3. the ability or authority to act or decide on one's own, without supervision

I’m going to ask you to do something hard now.  I’m going to ask you to take responsibility.

Sure, it’s not your fault that your significant other left you high and dry, emptying out your bank account in the process.  It’s not your fault that your parents constantly put you down and made mincemeat out of your self-esteem before you even hit puberty.  It’s not your fault… but it’s still your responsibility to overcome whatever it was and move past it.  Even if you played no sort of role in whatever happened, you still have the responsibility to:

1. Choose your reaction.
2. Deal with it. Deal with your emotions and deal with the situation.
3. Or better yet, use it to make you a better, stronger person. Turn that bitterness into some anger that you can use to fuel your own personal revolution.  Turn that anger into the positive forward motion that will enable you overcome that inertia

In the end, it’s past time to go all out and get the life you know you deserve… as it’s so often said, if not now, then when?  If things are rough, if you’ve been knocked down one too many times… it’s time to take back your life.  Start your revolution today.