Dear Diary

Somehow journaling has been cropping up (and cropping up frequently) in my life as a topic of discussion. I started doing some heavy-duty journaling a few months ago, so I certainly have a few thoughts worth sharing on this subject.

To my mind, one the chief benefits of keeping a journal (at least the way I do it) is that it forces you to think. In order to get the day’s random swirl of thoughts into anything resembling a coherent sentence or paragraph, you will have to think. You will have to be at least somewhat rational (please note the use of the word “somewhat”). In doing so, you will often see where you may have judged someone too harshly, maybe taken something the wrong way, or one of a million other thinking errors.

Also to your advantage is the opportunity to read over your past musings. Since starting my journal document on April 3rd, I have noticed a distinct change in my tone. I have gone from whiny, despairing, and a little angry to confident and (more or less) ready for whatever comes next. Nothing beats having actual evidence of your own self-improvement.

I found that keeping my journal also helped me get back into a serious relationship with my my writing voice/ mojo. We were, perhaps, not on the best of terms for a little while, but my journal helped us get reacquainted and become best pals again.

That said, here are a few tips to get you started:

Remember that it’s whatever you want it to be. Your journal can be a daily decompress. It can be a bitch session. You can fill it with your hopes, dreams, plans, and goals. You can write a narrative of your life and turn it into a memoir. The key (I think, anyway) is to use your journal as a means to examine your life and eventually improve it.

You can use whatever medium you wish. I use a Google Doc and just type my little heart out. Many use a blank book, one of those fancy Moleskin notebooks, or even a plain old spiral notebook. Just make sure that whatever you use, it’s something to which you have quick and easy access.

It’s just for you. I would suggest that whatever medium you use, keep your journal secure. Knowing that your journal is secure gives you license to be honest. Thinking that your words may be subject to prying eyes might stifle what you want to say. Being honest and real is critical. I wouldn’t suggest that you start sharing your journal either. You might start writing for an audience and not yourself.

Keep it on the regular. I write something in my journal document daily, without exception. Your lifestyle might not lend itself to daily journaling, however. I would strongly suggest a minimum of once a week. It’s important to keep up some frequency, as well as a degree of recency to the events you want to examine.

In the end, journaling is well worth a shot. Who knows, it might even change your life.

Some Awesome Writing Books

I recently tore through one of those books that I probably should have read years ago. It’s The War of Art, and was written by man named Stephen Pressfield. You may not know his name, but you probably know his work… he is the author of (among many other books) The Legend of Bagger Vance, on which the popular movie was based.

The book is about Resistance (always capitalized, as if it were a pronoun). Resistance is one of those odd forces of nature that we never talk about but always experience. It pulls you down with the weight of an anvil and inhibits writing, art, and all manner of goals and dreams. The first part of The War of Art puts you face-to-face with Resistance and helps you understand this mystery. The second half of the book gives you some guidance on how to face it down and (ideally) overcome it.

This book is not for everyone. It takes a deep dive into some Jungian philosophy (a far cry from the pop-psych insights one typically sees today). There is no bullet-pointed “action plan” or “Seven Splendiforous Ways to Overcome Your Creative Blocks”. The War of Art is philosophy, psychology, and memoir (and it’s heartening that such a well-regarded author has faced the very same demons and struggles that I have), a hearty buffet of food for thought.

It’s not a long book. It is certainly worth a read for any writer, artist, or entrepreneur.

Now onto the kinda/ sorta similarly titled (but very different) book, The Art of War for Writers. James Scott Bell is one of my very favorite writers that writes about writing. He takes the concepts that Chinese general Sun Tzu put forth in his perennial masterpiece, The Art of War, and applies them to the writing game.

This book is divided into three parts… Reconnaissance, Tactics, and Strategy. The Reconnaissance section concerns itself with an overarching view of one’s writing career and mentality. Tactics covers the particulars of writing good fiction, while Strategy tackles the business aspects of one’s writing career. The individual chapters are short and to the point.

The Art of War for Writers is well worth a read and ideal for keeping within reach of your writing space.

The Nighttime Novelist is an excellent, comprehensive book on the fiction writer’s craft. It is detailed, covering most of what you need to know to start and complete that novel you have been thinking about writing for years. There are sections on structure, characters, beginning, ending, and much more. The Nighttime Novelist is eminently readable, yet is organized enough that it can be used as a handy reference.

Speaking of “a handy reference”, The Creative Writer’s Style Guide has consistently served me well. It has been my go-to guide for years when it comes to those nitpicky questions with regards to comma placement within dialog or conditional verbs and what-not.

Born to Run is the autobiography of rock icon Bruce Springsteen. Reportedly, he wrote it entirely himself, completely without the help of a ghostwriter. It turns out that he is a damn good prose writer… there are some very vivid passages that are nearly as poetic as his lyrics. I am a long-time fan, but there is much to Bruce’s story that I didn’t know.

Why include Born to Run in a blog post about books for writers? The book is about, more than anything, the evolution of an artist and how his early life informed and resounded in his music and lyrics.

These are just a few of the many worthy writing books to be had. Here are some more just to round out the list.

• Writer With a Day Job
• The Productive Writer
• Time to Write
• Write Is a Verb
• The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Creative Writing
• The Everything Guide to Writing Your First Novel

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to actually go write some words now. Please don’t hesitate to chime in should you have a favorite book of your own to feature. I may write another, similar blog post (and I might even cover another medium, such as podcasts about writing). Keep your eyes peeled.

Nano

I am doing (er, attempting) National Novel Writing Month again.

In case you don’t know, the goal for NaNoWriMo participants is to write 50,000 words throughout the course of November. A daunting goal for most. It does seem slightly less onerous when broken down to a daily total of 1,667, but it is still a challenge (and no, smartass, typing the same word 1,667 times in a row does NOT count).
I got pretty far in 2012… a bit over 36,000 words. Unfortunately, I let a couple of unfortunate situations throw me off track. My subsequent efforts didn’t go even that well.

Flash forward to last week. I had been going back and forth for several days:

• Do I really want to attempt NaNo?
• What makes me think I could actually win (a.k.a., finish the month having written 50,000)?
• Do I really want to fail AGAIN?

As it turns out, I did start Nano. Starting it was actually the very first thing I did when I woke up on November 1st. I get out of bed at the appointed time, walked to my desk (not a challenge, as it is mere steps from my bed) (my apartment is small, okay?), turned on my computer, and went at it. I pounded out a few sentences, then went on with my day. Between getting to the office a bit early and writing, as well as making good use of my lunch break, I made a pretty decent showing on day one. It didn’t quite get to the requisite 1,667, but that’s fine. I was going at it. I was giving it a shot.

I kept it up through the remainder of the week. Some days I managed to get out more words than other days. As I write this, it is Sunday evening, the sixth day of Nano. My word count is significantly far behind where it needs to be in order to finish at 50,000 words. It’s still well within the realm of possibility that I can catch up. I may actually win this thing (winning defined as, of course, getting to that magic 50k)... who knows?
I may not get to 50,000, and that’s okay. I have promised myself that I will not give up, no matter what my word count says. Winning for me, at least with regards to this round, is about not giving up. Winning is also about trying, no matter what the negative little monkey brain chatter in my head tells me.
So I guess that as of the sixth day of National Novel Writing Month, I have already won.

Fellow Authors: Let's Do Better

I’m right at the tail end of writing my new book, Requiem.

Once it’s done, I will still have work to do. Editing, formatting, producing a cover, etc. It will be available within the next few months (message me or leave a comment should you want to read an excerpt).

Anyway, I’m using the launch of Requiem to effectively reboot my career as an authorpreneur. I’m going to republish my first book and create a new cover. Next, I will fix a formatting issue with my second book (the next few months will be very busy for me).

Going forward, I will start publishing print versions of my ebooks and perhaps dip my toes into the world of audiobooks.

A big part of my reboot initiative is to increase my knowledge of publishing and book marketing. I’m already learning a lot and I’m starting to turn much of that knowledge into action and strategies. I’m also doing a bit more networking with fellow authors. A lot of them have had considerable success and I have much to learn from them.

And then there’s the other, vastly less enjoyable, side of that particular coin.

One of my favorite sources of information is the Facebook page for Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP). My books are available via Kindle, thus their page is a treasure trove of useful hints, tips, and information.

I perused a few comment threads the other night, in hopes of finding some fellow scribes to network with… unfortunately that didn’t go as well as I had hoped. Said comment threads are little more than heaping piles of spam, generally from authors trying to promote their works. I further noticed, upon looking through a few more threads, that it’s often the same authors each time (and by “each time”, I mean REPEATEDLY OVER AND OVER AND OVER). Really, people… comment spam is not a great marketing strategy. I know it’s free, but the reach is limited and anyone that actually does see your link will likely be annoyed by it, thus unlikely to make a purchase.

The aforementioned comments are generally nothing more than a link to the author’s book on Amazon and not commentary on the article that KDP published. I clicked on a couple of the links out of sheer curiosity.

Oh boy.

One book of the few I looked at was over 100 chapters of two or three not very well-written paragraphs each. The POV and tense changed without rhyme or reason. I caught two spelling errors in the first paragraph. I could go on, but you catch my drift.

Another book I previewed appeared to be at least fairly well done, but the author would personally attack anyone who gave him a less than stellar review.

Need I go on?

There are millions of ebooks available. Apparently a large number of them are not very good. I am not basing that statement on my rather small sample. Many folks complain that they have to wade through big stacks of crap to get to the Kindle gems. There are many who have given up on Kindle books (and other ebook formats) for that very reason.

So I have some goals for my authorpreneur career. Selling a goodly number of books is, of course, a big part of my strategy. Making myself known and heard and seen is a daunting task, one made vastly more difficult by the amount of low-quality books out there. Granted, this may be something of a double-edged sword, as I can more easily distinguish my (presumably) higher quality work and (hopefully) rise above the crowd. However you look at it, it won’t be easy.

I suppose I resent those authors that produce low-quality books. I wonder if writing and publishing is merely a cash grab for them, some sort of vanity play, or (most likely) a little of both? Frankly, I would be embarrassed to put my name on some of those books, just as I would be to market via comment spam.

I don’t think of myself as having especially high standards. I mean, I’m not exactly writing Proust here. My next book is an action-adventure that could just as easily be a Saturday matinee stand up and cheer 3D extravaganza (granted, I do have a couple important themes at hand). In the end, I have tried to write an engaging, entertaining story and write it well. I know it’s not perfect. I know some folks won’t like it. I did do right by my story, my characters, and my potential readers, however. Requiem may not be a nuanced work of literary genius, but I am still proud to put my name on it.

So fellow writers/ scribes/ authorpreneurs I ask you:

• Can we always push to do a little bit better (myself included)?
• Can we be more professional?
• Can we all edit, use spell check, and make sure our grammar is up to par?
• Can we stop promoting via spam or attack any review that’s less than glowing?
• Can we write and publish at least up to the standard of books that we already read?

So let’s all do better. Let’s raise the bar and rise above the morass of lousy books and unprofessional behavior. I’m looking to develop an “Authorpreneur Code of Professionalism”… I would love to get some suggestions on that (just send me an email or leave a comment below).

By the way, I did report a few of those commenters for spam, some of them several times (this is what happens when I’m grumpy). I checked the KDP page this morning, and the most recent posts are completely and utterly free of comment spam (*pats self on back*).

Homework: a short story

Justin had everything he needed laid out in front of him.

Geography book.

Notebook.

Pencil.  Actually multiple pencils.  The leads sometimes broke or just as often the pencils rolled away, as if by their own will, to hide under the desk. Justin included colored pencils too, just to make things interesting.

There was, of course, the homework sheet itself.  It was a fill in the blanks sheet all about cartography, otherwise known as map-reading.  Kinda boring, but okay.  Time to focus, Justin thought.  He looked to the left and saw his reading book and underneath that, a math worksheet.  More work.

Focus.

Justin looked at the first part of the worksheet.  He had to label the different parts of maps.  Should be easy.  First were a series of little triangles, all bunched together.

FOCUS.

“Psst,” came a voice from below.

Ignore.  What were the little triangles supposed to be?

Then the voice again.  “Hey Justin.”

Justin looked down to the floor.  It was Rex, Knight of the Realm.  Like usual.  Being an action figure, he stared up at the giant Justin above.  His four inch stature made him no less a warrior...  he had shiny armor and a long silver sword.  Rex had defended Justin's kingdom from many a threat, typically from Lord Tyranno, the Evil Knight, and Tyranno's menagerie of plastic dragons and assorted super villains.

“Justin,” Rex continued. “I really need your help.”

Justin put down his pencil. “Rex, I really need to do my homework.  Okay?”

“But Justin, Lord Tyranno is planning an attack.  Tonight.”

Justin sighed and picked his pencil up.  He began tapping it slowly on the desk.  Tap.  Tap.  Tap.

Rex spread his arms pleadingly. “We need you.”

Tap tap tap tap tap.

Justin had an idea.

“What do you need me to do?” he asked Rex.

“Fight with us,” Rex replied, raising his sword to the ceiling.

“Maybe,” Justin said, “Just maybe I could help you plan your attack.”

“Really?”  Rex lowered his sword.  This wasn't what he expected. “How do you mean?”

“I could make you a map,” Justin offered.

“A map?”  Rex considered the idea for a moment.  “I like that,” he said.

Justin smiled.  “Okay, so give me a minute.  I'm learning all about map making.”

Rex took a step back and waited, as patiently as any knight ready for battle could.  Fortunately, Justin finished his worksheet in mere minutes.  Rex saw him put the sheet aside.

“Are we ready?” Rex said eagerly.

Justin looked at his reading assignment.  He was to read the short tale of a young boy, a squire to a heroic knight in medieval times, and answer a few questions about the story.

“I think this might help too,” Justin said. “I can learn all about knights and swords and jousting.”

Rex nodded. “Sounds like my kind of story,” the tiny warrior said.

Justin read through the story, about how the boy inspired the knight to victory over a much stronger foe.  He was almost done with the questions when he heard a voice from the living room.

“Justin?”

“Yeah?”

“How are you doing on homework?”

“Almost done, mama,” Justin said.

Rex stiffened.  “W- was that--”  he stammered, “was that the Queen?”

Justin smiled. “Yes,” he said.  “That was the Queen.”

Rex dropped to one knee and held his sword in front of him. “I am at your service, my Queen.”

“I don't think she can hear you,” Justin said.

Rex stood. “We must defend her kingdom,” he said.

“I know,” Justin said.  He thought for a second.  “I have a duty to the Queen too, you know.”

“You do?”

“Of course,” Justin said.  “My duty...”  He thought for a second.  “My duty is to be the best kid I can for her.  Do my homework, clean my room, all that stuff.”

Rex nodded slowly.

“Do you understand, Rex?”

The tiny warrior bowed.  “I do, sir.  A Prince's first duty is always to his Queen.”

“I just have to do my math.  So keep an eye out for Lord Tyranno until I'm done.”

“I shall.”  Rex turned and began scanning the horizon (in this case, the toy chest next to Justin's closet) for approaching villainy.

Justin finished his math worksheet just a few minutes later, far more quickly than he thought he would.

“Mama,”  Justin shouted, “I'm done!”

Justin's mom entered his room and stood behind him.  She gave his shoulder a quick squeeze.

“Math and everything?”  she said.

“Math and everything,” Justin replied.

She stooped down and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“You're the best kid ever,”  she said.  “You know that?”

“I know,” Justin said with a giggle.  “Can I play now?”

“Just for a little bit,”  she said.  “Then it's time for your shower and bed.  Okay?”

“Mama?”  Justin said as she exited his room.

“Yeah, honey?”

“I love you.”

A bright smile spread across her face.  “I love you too,”  she said.

Justin went for his foam sword as soon as his mother stepped out of the room.  He kept it next to his desk, so he would always be ready to do battle.  He hefted it, and suddenly it became gleaming silver, forged by the finest blacksmith in the land.

“Rex,” Justin cried out, “I'm ready!”

Justin heard a voice from the far corner of his room.  It was Rex, of course.

“I need your help, Justin,” the knight said.  “Lord Tyranno has locked me in his dungeon!”

“I'm on my way!”  Justin cried out as he charged forward.

So Justin managed to rescue Rex and the two of them fought the good fight against the nefarious Lord Tyranno.  Just until bedtime, of course.

THE END

My Trip to the Mega-Store

I suffer from anxiety.

When I say that, I don’t mean “I’m about to ask the cheerleader to the prom” type nervousness.  I mean the kind of anxiety that can be debilitating at times.

At its worst, in the midst of an anxiety attack, you can’t think straight.

Everything seems unreal.

You’re shaky.

You’re short of breath.

You’re light headed.

You want to get the hell out of wherever you are.

Etc.

Etc.

Dealing with an attack’s aftermath is no picnic either.  Imagine being mentally and physically exhausted to your very core, yet you can’t sleep right, if at all.  Your gastrointestinal system becomes your mortal enemy.  Your muscles tense to where they seem like coiled steel.  You get headaches.

Etc.

Etc.

Etc.

A few of you out there already knew that I struggle with anxiety.  Some of you maybe had some inkling this was the case (and are probably thinking, “oh yeah, that makes sense now”). Many of you had no idea. But now you know.  But I know some won’t make the effort to understand.

I’m not asking anyone to feel sorry for me.  Yes, it sucks.  Yes, it makes life a rather harder than it should be.  But it’s a lot easier to contend with than a lot of other problems other people have, so I suppose I’m lucky in that respect.

So why am I being public about this?  Hopefully someone with the same issue will read this and suddenly not feel so alone.  Perhaps some will recognize themselves in some of the symptoms I’ve outlined and get some help or take steps to manage it on their own.  Maybe it will dawn on a person or two that the way they feel doesn’t have to be their status quo.  This may change the opinion that some folks have of me, but frankly,  I don’t care.  In fact, I hereby dismiss the opinion of  anyone who will judge me negatively because of this. In many ways it’s akin to having, say, asthma.  Would you look down on someone having an asthma attack?  I certainly hope not.

So it doesn’t exactly make for easy living, but it still has to be dealt with.   I really can’t help it and I do strive to make the the best of it.  I work my ass off to manage my anxiety,  I work very hard to stay positive (this alone has probably been my saving grace) and I don’t take it out on others.

Anxiety is controllable to an extent, but it’s very unlikely that any kind of chronic anxiety can ever be completely overcome.  I had actually at one point thought I had it put to rest for good.  In my hubris, I thought it conquered… a non-issue going forward.  Never to be spoken of again. Part of the past.  Behind me. Done deal. Of course, I was very, very wrong (and, of course, this means I owe someone a pretty big apology, but perhaps that’s a story for another day).  

Like many things, anxiety is meant to be managed, not defeated.  There will be no heroic final battle in which I defeat my enemy once and for all (that would be super cool though, right?).  Eternal vigilance is the key to success, coupled with some smart and proactive coping strategies (among them: exercise, meditation and maintaining a positive mental attitude).

So it turns out that a young friend of mine struggles with anxiety too.

We had talked about it a few times.  I mostly wanted him to realize that anxiety shouldn’t rule his life, nor should he feel bad about it.  It’s not his fault, but it is his responsibility to deal with, yet he does need someone to show him the way.

So I felt an anxiety attack coming on.  No big, awful thing had occurred to trigger it, mostly it was the accumulation of many little things (if you’re familiar with the phrase “death by a thousand papercuts,” you probably have some understanding of where I’m coming from).  Rather than ignore the attack or hide from it or try to mitigate it, I let it happen.  I decided to take it on. It was an opportunity to show my young friend (and yes, myself) that this could be coped with and anxiety doesn’t have to run one’s life.

I managed to keep fairly level for the next couple hours.  It was a struggle, but I managed.  As I said goodbye for the day to my young friend, I shared with him what I was going to do next… probably the most insane and challenging thing one could do when struggling with an anxiety attack.

That’s right… I was going to go to the Mega-Store.  In case you don’t know what store I’m referring to, let’s just say the name of it rhymes with Hall-Mart.  Or Ball-Mart.  I’m pretty sure you can crack my code.

Anyway, the aforementioned Mega-Store would have to be among the worst possible places for me to go right then.  A crush of loud, rude, anxious people; all bustling about, crashing into one another in search of the best deal.  Aisles upon aisles of merchandise, with the loud din of commerce all about.  Too much sound.  Too much activity.  In short, sensory overload to the nth degree.

So I spent a good thirty minutes or more at the Mega-Store.  I did manage to accomplish my stated mission of securing a pedometer fairly quickly, but chose to walk around the store for a little while, in large part to challenge my anxiety and test my limits at the same time.

I was, as expected, completely exhausted in both mind and body by the time I got home. I more or less felt like a raw, open wound. I woke up the next morning feeling like I had a low-grade flu. Despite all that, I still considered my mission a great success.  I proved to my young friend (and myself) that anxiety doesn’t have to rule one’s life with an iron fist.  I know that trying to make an anxiety attack worse sounds pretty counterintuitive, but come to find out it is actually a therapeutically sound technique.  

http://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-to-cope-with-a-panic-attack/000971

“Paradoxical intention. The goal of this exercise is to trigger a panic attack and stand up to it, thereby feeling in control of what frightens you. Go into the feared situation with the tools you’ve learned, and perhaps with a friend for support, and actually dare the attack to happen. This can help you train yourself to not be afraid of the situation, and give you an opportunity to learn from it.”

Mission accomplished…. in a major way.  Better yet: a big, fat middle finger to anxiety.  I’ll be far more in control the next time it decides to rear its ugly head and hopefully my young friend will as well.

I look back and see how contending with anxiety has impacted virtually every corner of my life.  It has affected my career, love life, friendships, family life and even my writing.  It was my status quo for a good, long time.  I just accepted it and lived with it for most of my life.  I knew things weren’t quite right ever since my early teens, but I thought I was just a little off.  There are moments now when I resent that no one helped me back then while I very obviously struggled, but I just as quickly put that behind me. While it would have been great to get some help when I was younger, it is my responsibility to manage it now as well as help others.

The anxiety had become more and more of a problem over the past couple months.  A friend had passed away early in the year which caused me to step back and very seriously reflect on my life.  I looked at my past, present and future with renewed clarity.  While I have much to be proud of, I also saw where I had wasted much time, potential and opportunity.  I started to let myself feel very badly about that, rather than use those regrets as a spur to achievement.  Despite that, I managed to move forward (a little) with an unfinished writing project.  I was right at the cusp of breaking through to that proverbial next level.  I was right there, just at the summit of the next mountain, when anxiety and his best buddy fear of failure conspired to kick me back down.

I wasn’t having it.  Not this time.

I metaphorically stood back up, dusted myself off and began another ascent. And another. And another. It was near impossible to gain any traction.  The stress and anxiety became more of a constant and a heavier burden than ever before, to where those around me started to notice the change in my demeanor.  I was exhausted all the time.  I wasn’t my usual friendly, enthusiastic self.  In short, I was about as much fun to be around as a stick.  

Between being called out on my state of being and trying to help my young friend, I soon came to realize that I had to attack my problem at its roots.  A little research yielded a pretty good plan, one that might help you if you have the same struggle:

• Exercise: Releasing some endorphins is always a good thing, no matter the circumstances.  I’m not saying you have to take on something on the level of P90X.  Just move and move with purpose.  Go for a walk or jog.  Do some yoga or kickboxing.  You might even enjoy yourself.  
• Sleep and relaxation: Dealing with anxiety tends to wreak havoc on one’s sleep patterns, which makes it all the important to, at minimum make sure you relax.  Watch a movie.  read a good book.  Vegetate on the couch.  I’m pretty sure you can come up with a lengthy list of your own.
• Meditation: I don’t mean you have to sit lotus style in a dimly lit room and say “om”.  Think “quiet stillness” and you’re on the right track.
• Diet: Healthy, healthy, healthy… heavy on the fruits, nuts and veggies.
• Mindfulness:  Specifically, be aware of your thoughts and how they lead to anxiety.  Doing so will often enable you to put the lie to some of those thoughts, which is very powerful and helpful.
• Challenge it: Like I did above… poke the bear.  Take on an anxiety attack.  You may just find you’ll survive it and you may just find it’s not as bad as you had anticipated.
• Challenge yourself: Gradually expand your comfort zone.  Living with anxiety can often lead to retreating from challenges.  The solution is to take them on little by little, one at a time.
• Don’t be a hermit: I tend to withdraw at times, which is actually counter-productive.  Try your best to spend time engaged in fun activities with positive people.
• Live in the present: This is tough, especially for a goal-oriented person such as myself.  That said, I do understand that the future can be fraught with worry and the past might be a litany of regrets.  The only moment you can control is right now.  The present is when you can choose your reaction to the past and take action to improve your future.
• Stay positive: A dose of positive thinking goes a long, long way.  

A word of caution: while it’s important to be aware of what your issue is (be it anxiety, a weight problem, a chronic medical condition or any of a myriad of other things), be very careful not to define yourself that way.  You are not the “fat guy” or “asthma girl”... you are you, and there are a kaleidoscope of facets to who you are.  The way you define yourself tends to become your full identity.  You are so much more than your anxiety or your weight or whatever your challenge might be.

I hope that if you suffer from anxiety you don’t consider yourself the odd man (or woman) out.  According to the National Institute of Mental Health, as many as 40 million adults are affected by some sort of anxiety disorder.  You are not alone.  You are not weird.  You are not weak.  You have a challenge, and it’s one that you are fully capable of managing.  Besides… there are plenty of people who understand what you’re going through.